My Unusual First Blog

So, I debated whether to write this blog entry. Being my first entry, it's a bit of a downer if taken a certain way. So I wasn't sure. But it's a very important day to me, so to NOT say something felt just weird. So I thought, what the heck.

My dog Strider died two years ago today. For those of you who didn't know him, he was my everything. He was my best friend and child. He got me through my divorce and a very hard time in my life. He was like velcro, we were rarely separated. He would follow me to every room in the house and he knew when I was upset or happy. I cried with him, read my textbooks outloud to him to study, danced around with him. He was my soul mate.







Two years ago, he got out of the yard and got hit by a car. He somehow made it back to the porch and I found him there. He died minutes after we got to the emergency vet. It was a very traumatic experience for me. It took many, many months to recover. And it still periodically will jump up and surprise me at times.


But this post isn't about trauma or grief, it's about remembering. Not everyone sees pets the way I do, but everyone reading this knows how much my dogs mean to me. He taught me to love unselfishly, without expecting anything in return, wanting only what's best for the other. He taught me how to be silly and open up when I had spent many years closing down. All of those things changed me as a person. And although I still struggle sometimes to find meaning in it, I know that even in his death he was still teaching me... teaching me that sometimes you have to dig deep down through all the sadness and grief and pain to find the core brilliance, peace, strength and god force that is in you. And since he changed me, made me better, added his light to mine, he can never truly die. His pawprints are on my soul and he lives there.


So I'd like to post some of my favorite memories of my best friend in honor of this day and of his life. Some of them are funny, some dorky, some benign, but they're my memories of him. And for those of you who didn't get to meet him, I'll enjoy sharing with you this very important soul in my life. For more pictures, there's an album rotating on the right side of the screen.

• When we would hike, he would go ahead, but turn around and check on me every five minutes. Sometimes, he would only get a few feet before turning around. He would sort of canter back to me, then when he'd get within a few feet, he'd slow down and his butt would start wiggling. I'd reach down and pat his head, and he'd take off again.



• When he chased deer, he made this gleeful yip as he ran through the woods. It was pure joy.



• In the morning, I'd wake up (eyes still closed) and feel Strider standing at the edge of the bed with his face inches from mine. He knew when I woke up because he'd start wiggling. I'd keep my eyes closed, but couldn't help but smile... this really got him wiggling. I'd open my eyes and pat the bed next to me and he'd jump up and snuggle.

• When I'd get ready to take the dogs on a hike, I'd always go pee first. But Strider knew we were leaving for a hike, so he'd follow me in to the bathroom and start spinning in circles whining with glee. Periodically he'd jump up to try to lick me (Strider was a HUGE licker). He'd get so excited, I'd have to hold his collar and stiff arm him to keep him from bopping me in the face. I acted all stern, but I was smiling the whole time at his enthusiasm.



• He had stray hairs on his nubby litle tail. There were 2-3 little tuffs of hair that were lighter and longer than the others. It looked so weird.



• He had this half-smile, especially when I came home from work. He'd come walking up, his back end wiggling like crazy, his head sort of down, eyes looking up at me. Then one half of his lips would sneer like Elvis. It was his weirdo smile. I miss it.

• We went on a lot of road trips together. He was my co-pilot. When he was in the car he was in one of two places. If the other two dogs weren't in the car, he was in the seat next to me looking out the front window. If the others were there, he'd stand behind my seat and rest his head on my left shoulder. I'd periodically lean my head to the left and rest it on his.